Last night, we went to see one of my kid’s favorite bands in concert. It was an great show but the best part was seeing my children dance and sing their heart out. Their intense joy was fuel for my heart.
Honestly, I am shocked that things went so well. I am proud of my family because going to a concert on a week night is a risky move. Here are a few things that helped:
- I have learned that things go better when I am as “regulated” as possible. So, I prioritize my needs so that I am able to show up.
- The other adult(s) with me no longer question my needs or how I do things. This provides me more energy to show up and affirms mutual respect.
- We understand that our needs are different and that we express ourselves differently.
- I set an intention for the experience so that I can remain flexible. It is important for me to remember that nothing needs to go perfectly in order for things to be great.
- We kept the following day open as a “no demand” day. The kids could go to camp if they had the capacity or they could stay home to recover. Knowing that the “next thing” was a rest/recovery period allows us to be more present in the experience.
Keep an “On the go” bag with essentials
On a more practical level, I tend to prepare/anticipate as much as I can. I learn from previous experiences and try to set things up for future success. There are a lot of great tips out there, here are a few that I don’t see as frequently but make a difference to me.
- Keep an “On the go” bag- I keep an “on the go” bag with supplies that help us have a better experience. Typically, you will find first aid supplies, hair ties, hand sanitizer, sanitizer wipes, a detergent wipe for stains, tissue paper, lip balm, etc. We are fortunate not to need the bag frequently but these “small” items can provide significant comfort.
- Always have safe snacks and water. We may not need it but it is best to set ourselves up for success.
- The kids and I tend to have a backpack with our personal need items.
- a change of clothes
- headphones and a device (kids listen to their own music. I tend to use mine to cancel or reduce sound)
- fidgets/comfort items
- sweatshirt/blanket because the temperature typically accommodates the person that runs hottest. The rest of us layer for our comfort.
- I also try to have a back up set of clothes/accessories. We have had issues when someone has to change, so having this back up really saved the day.
I have been told that many of these steps are a waste of time. I don’t waste my energy arguing my position. I feel better knowing I have what I need if I need it. If something happens, I have tools to help me meet my needs. If I don’t end up using anything, I am happy I didn’t need it. There is no down side for me.
auDHD Thriving 
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